October this year..

Hi y`all!

My lil brother, Jai is now 25 years old and I was happy that he received the special parcel I sent over to Lubeck on the Oct 15th. Boy! Was he a happy man to see the goodies I packed inside. All gratitudes, touching words and many thanks aside, I actually had the intention to send him stuff for quite sometimes. And since his birthday this year coincides with Raya season, it’s all the more reason to give him some cookies, kerepek, rempah ratus and what nots. Oh! I also bought him a baju melayu too! because if I’m not mistaken, he had only 1 black baju melayu which he brought to Germany ages ago. We had many chat sessions during the holidays and seeing him through the webcam at least had cheered my parents a lot! Especially, Mak who is not very well and just being diagnosed with Diabetis during Ramadhan. My sister, Kak Chik who passed away in year 2000 was also born in October. Al fatihah to you, Chik

Raya this year was fun! I noticed that I almost never had same Raya celebration as compare to the previous year(s). That is actually what I’m looking forward during the festival. I always know that I’ll be chilling around house, eating delicious food and channel-hopping in front of TV, but greeting people who came visiting and catching up with old friends are more meaningful to me. This year, cousins & their families from N9 drove all the way to Pahang. Their late mothers and Mak are sisters. And I did managed to visit their house last weekend when I was back in KL. It was good to keep in touch with cousins whom we were so close since child, I don’t know whether it’s the distance or for lack of communication, over these past years we somehow only had minimal contact as in not in each other’s loop. So it’s good to catching up with each other’s life and their kids have really all grown up now!

Well, after Raya, it was back in the office and many open house invitations are going around in KL for these few weeks. Not helping at all with my diet plan. Erghh!










Yummy ketupat! no, i did not weaved that

Listening : Big girl don’t cry - Fergie

Eid Mubarak

Salam Aidilfitri to all.

Have a wonderful holiday & drive safely. Don't road hog, eh?


chah

hello all

Hi y'all. How you doin? it's been 4 months since I last wrote anything here. has it been that long? Time sure flies away.

Lotsa things had happened in between, but I'm not planning to tell all here, in one go anyway. Mostly, Its all about me, me & me. Oh well! its my space and how self-absorb can one be, eh?

Will write more soon, Selamat Berpuasa - Ramadhan is few days away. In the mean time, enjoy this handsome nephew of mine.

Away from home

hullo..

currently am away for work. Possibility of dying out of boredom.
Luckily, shopping is (part of) the cure! and who said you can't shop in Melaka & Batu Pahat?



Listen : I don't love you - My Chemical Romance

Life of mine

Days come and go..
morning, noon, evening and night breezing through
I'm hanging there..
Put on your brave face chah! and try not to be scare
This is life of mine..
And nobody said it'll always be kind.


Listen : Wonderful world - James Morrison

untitled

How come it gets so lonely like this..?

Curl myself in a big ball and..die? naay sleep more like it

As most weekends, I’ll spend few hours by reading. Or sleep. These two are the activities I love so much at the moment. Almost like an escapade! Have you ever felt so bad and scared and you wish it’ll go away or change when you next wake up from your slumber? I do all the time. I mean, I wished for it all the time, but whenever I woke up, the world seems like it was before I went to sleep. No change except newfound courage and words to self saying – I can get through this one! If it was that bad, I almost don’t want the day to go by, scared shit to face the truth. And I’m the Denial syndrome sufferer at its best. But I persevere. At least I know I tried to face the reality. Be it a consequences of my actions or whatever that needs my decision, I want to do my best. But sometimes, I did not. Still, it makes my day to know that life does not revolve around me only. I don’t ever want to be a hypocrite bitch that is self absorbed and insensitive. I hate them kind with passion. I hope I’ll never turn into one.*Shudder* And did I tell you why I love reading? well, I want to get myself lost in the pages. That’s why. And I’m not that choosy when it comes to books. Oh well, everybody has their own way of unwinding, let loose, chilling out or whatever you may call it. Bottom line is we want to escape from it all once in a while. When things getting unbearable, pressures building up and you feel tired thinking about it, Get yourself away from it. Trust me! You’ll come back or relook at it with different perspective and fresh eyes!
But if it doesn’t work, do this type of quiz instead hehe..

A is for age: 30

B is for beverage of choice: black coffee with lil sugar

C is for career right now: auditor

D is for your dog's name: no dog but 2 cats at My parents house

E is for essential item you use everyday: wrist watch

F is for favorite TV shows at the moment: CSI

G is for favorite game: Super Mario

H is for home town: Jerantut Pahang
I is for instruments you've played/play: Recorder

J is for favorite juice: Mango

K is for whose butt you'd like to kick: self absorbed kind!

L is for last restaurant you ate at: PizzaHut

M is for marriage: No sign yet, really I dunno

N is for your full name: Sanisah Salehuddin

O is for overnight hospital stays: last year, broken wrist during futsal game

P is for people you were with today: office mates

Q is for quote: The only way to have a friend is to be one – Ralph W Emerson

R is for biggest regret/mistake: not study hard enough when it most crucial to do so

S is for status: single and having as much fun possible

T is for time you woke up today: 6.30 am

U is for the underwear your wearing right now: normal, practical one

V is for vegetables you love: lettuces

W is for worst habit: chewing nails

X is for x-rays you've had: wrist

Y is for yummy food you ate today: chocolates

Z is for zodiac sign: Pisces

Got this from zzeed.blogspot.com

Listen : Screw - Paris Hilton - i am a universal listener, you see?

count your blessing, dear

This is what I felt yesterday..

Feels like shouting on top of my lung, kicking and crashing my head at the wall! Arghh!! Shit!Stupid F*&^!Shit, Shit! Hmm..I suppose this is how it must feel if you’re lamenting on the fact when you just sold off your share at the stock market and for the love of my life, The price keep zooming up right after that!! Aiyoh..really, this stock market thingy is not for faint hearted people. It really cranks you up, you know. The anticipation and endless guessing (and praying) for the price to go up and when it reached your target price, you’ll decided to sell and you thought you will be content (and thankful) but no, dear! You will feel even worse when the price keep going up and up! At least that’s what I’m feeling right now. Like this bitter taste in my mouth and regretful thinking I’m having inside my head. If only I’d more patient and had more guts to wait for higher price. Arghh! Damn it! Let it go, Chah. Rezeki di tangan Allah swt kan. Really, I know I’ve been blessed in so many ways. For that, I’m most thankful to God.

And today, I (try to) feel content. Alhamdulillah..and not to check the share market website. okeh, must get back to work.

Later.

Listen : I'm your angel - Celine Dion & R. Kelly

Mundane Tuesday

Just so if you might want to know more about me... (Right, this is actually an attempt to fend my sleepiness away)

1.Am left handed – yep. I’m using my left hand for writing, holding microphone / racquets for sports etc, but I also know how to use both fork & spoon properly, thank you. Somehow, If I’m only holding one spoon (like for soup) then its automatically goes to my left hand where it’s suppose to be my right hand holding it, well, I did not realized it until someone point it out to me and well, I still couldn’t be bothered anyway.

2.March is my month. I am a Piscean; I love all fish in general.

3.I even have a same birth date with my eldest sister – March 10 but different year lah, hers 64 and mine 77.

4.My favourite colours are purple, red and turquoise. But I always ended up with more white t-shirts than I need for. Boring!

5.I am only using 1 type of perfume at a time, meaning I don’t do ‘perfume collection thingy’ where you have racks full of various bottles of perfume. I will choose & decide what smell I like, bought it and wear it till the last drop before I’ll go and buy another (probably same) smell or whatever that attracts my nose. My all time favourite is Light Blue by Dolce & Gabbana but currently I am wearing Femme by Hugo Boss.

6.I can sing. Friends & strangers said so. But I don’t boast it around la. And I love to hear my friends who can sing (or have guts to sing their hearts out). I can’t stand the tone deaf people, though.

7.I have fear of heights, but I also love roller coaster and other rides which will catapult you like 20 metres above ground and spinning and let you dangling on air, its pure torture. I know

8.All time favourite band – The Beatles

9.Favourite authors – Ken Follet & Stuart Wood- these 2 fella can keeps me awake until wee hours. Ahem! with their books, I mean.

10.I hate preserved chillies, you know the chili jeruk? Hate it with passion. And I also hate the kuah petis for rojak buah, I can’t eat that. And oh yeah, I cannot eat ground nuts – in any forms, but I can take other kind of nuts like hazel, macadamia etc (so ngada ngada kan?)

Listen : Listen - Beyonce

Happy Days Ahead!

On the eve before my 30th birthday
I am pushing all the fear, uncertainty and worries away...
30s such an unchartered territory
One would ponder and longingly remember their youth’s dreams crumbled like debris...
Many plans and wishes were like million years ago
Some best be forgotten, some does make me feel hollow...

Today come at last
Dreaded but whirl me fast...
Where will tomorrow lead me next?
Only time and God knows best.
For I am such a small speck in this universe
Making my way around and keep on traverse
Finding what would fulfill me most;
My happiness and self believe that I’m not again to be lost.


Kafe Nana @ Jalan Pekeliling
10/3/2007 -- Happy Birthday to self!


Listen : Ku di halaman Rindu - Lefthanded

6 Weirds Things About Myself

I’ve been tagged by Ashraff & Aliff ‘s Mom to do this 6 weird things about yourself meme. Spent few days thinking it over (‘twas hard , man!) and after some soul searching (cheh!) I think these are 6 weirdest things that I can think of. Probably other people have their own ideas of weird things about me, I mean for all I know some might be able to come up with 12 or 24 weird things about me, No? I hope there aren’t lah. Since this is my blog kan, here goes;

1. When I worried too much or having repeated thoughts about something bad or shitty stuff, it will usually turn into reality or really happened to me! Arghh!

2. I am obsessed with man’s hand. I love to secretly watch a man’s hand (family, friends, colleagues or strangers) and see their long (or short) fingers, palm, wrinkles, calluses, hair at base of each fingers and clean nail, of course!

3. I can name all 50 states of United States of Americ@. It started when I had to prepare for a quiz during primary school and somehow the information won’t dislodge from my permanent memory. (Not that weird, i suppose)

4. I will always reread my favorite books (every of 5-6 months) simply because I love the plot which is interesting and superbly crafted, the characters felt like someone I know (better still, I wish I am one of the character!) and it always make me feel good that I did not forget what’s the story is about whenever I look at the cover.

5. I love to see, meet and be around small girls and boys age 6 or below. They are so cute, fresh and I love their innocence way of looking at this world. Some would want to grow up so fast; some were still clinging to their mom and never want to be separated.

6. And yes, I still bite and chew my nails! I know its disgusting but sometimes when I’m deeply thinking(and worrying), I’ll subconsciously put my fingers inside my mouth and grit my nail. That is why I can’t cure my cough 100% and imagine the tape worms inside my stomach..eeurrgh!

If it's your last day on earth..how would you like to live it? - Dr Grey

Oh my god! Did I ever tell you that I love Grey’s Anatomy?? I almost worship the series! Arghh! And tonight was such a heart wrenching episode! Nail biting to the end and the emotions that oozes from the story are so powerful. It really connects – the plot, the cast and yes, McDreamy is very yummy! Indeed. Ok, getting back to dreaming of that gorgeous man whom I doubt will ever make his way into my life! Hahha ..

Yummy isn't he?

Listen : Don’t forget to remember me – Carrie Underwood

A Night To Remember..

Right, so CNY have passed quite sometimes and during that long break I was busy entertaining my nieces & nephews @ Kg, doing nothing much. But I was back in KL by Thursday 22/2 for I was one of the committee member of my company Annual Dinner this year! Aiyoh! honestly, this will be my first and the last time la kan. So freaking tired! Attended final meeting on Friday 23/2 which coincidentally was Bapak's 66th Birthday. I only got around to text & wished him that night, hmm bad, bad daughter that I am. During the CNY break on 17/2 was actually my Mom's 65th Birthday and bapak came back from his daily pasar trip that day with a cake & get this - Plastics Flowers! I laughed until my eyes watered. His reason was that plastic flowers last longer than real flowers and symbolized his undying love to Mak la (sweet kan? giler romantis jugak Bapak aku nih! )

Anyway, back to the dinner. By noon of Saturday 24/2, we, as in the committee members were already at KL Hilton for the rehearsal. I was busy finishing last minutes details especially on the door gifts, lucky draw prizes and gift hampers for games etc. And as much as I loved handling those gifts thingy, these I considered were definitely not a 'walk in the park' job. Packing 260 vouchers worth RM16.5K was no joke, man. And don't even get me to start on checking & retying the ribbons for freaking 500 boxes of the door gifts! Me and another 2 colleagues were also busting our asses & thicken our faces chasing sponsors for the lucky draw prizes for the last 2 months. Interesting experience(?) is the least way to described it! Haha.. To me, all the efforts kinda paid off to see guests came in their finery (as according to the theme ' Man in Black, Lady in Red' ) and to see them enjoying themselves during the event. I suppose having everybody's favourite entertainer (Datuk S1T1 Nurh@l1z@) to performed at the event was enough to ensure it is indeed a memorable night for all the staff. Oh well, anyway.. I got to sleep at the complimentary room at Hilton (which we used earlier to changed/get ready) after the event and that my friends, is my consolation for only being lucky enough to got RM50 Jusco voucher!

p/s : I lost my Nikon coolpix 3200 during the event *sob* :(

Some pictures of moi and friends. Check out more at here Enjoy!

Listen : Pastikan - CT Nurhaliza

How time flies..

It's been 5 freaking years! man. I still remember my first day reporting to this company, feels like ages ago. And some highlights probably in order ;

- Promoted once (last yr) and am a Senior now.
- Work load still like usual (or sometimes more!).
- Still a kuli. Work like slave.
- Skive like a pro.
- Good yearly bonus, then after few months, melongo to survive rest of year haha
- Good colleagues a plenty

Verdict: Probably stay on here for now, until I finalize/confirm/recce other options. Quite
hard to leave this place for something less, so it must be something really really good la kan.

p/s : Shit happens, normal la kan, but when the shit has hit the fan? Aduuuiiii...erghhh! makcik tgh tension nih, tapi tu la dunia ni. Nak di apa kan lagi.



listen : What goes around, come around - Justin Timberlake

some pictures

Beautiful bride & groom

Sweetnye..bisik ape tu?

Friendship we made along the way..

So I’ve constantly been reminded of the fact that I’m getting old. Well, guess what? I have not forgotten my own birthday! So I must be doing fine (haha) but then, once in a while, when truth strikes home it makes me pause and painfully reminded that time do flies. Sheesh! Case in point had happened last month when I was invited to a wedding ceremony. Mind you, this is not just another wedding of my college friends, but it was 2 of my former scholars/students whom I had been lucky to know and managed during my stint at xom. We were introduced, like 6 years ago and at that time these 2 wonderful people and their 3 other friends were just barely out of school. I did truly enjoy my work during that time because it was such a fun things to do! Apart from arranging their numerous preparation courses and what not (TOEFL, SAT, OBS) I even tagged along their visit to oil & gas terminal, refinery and yes, including the helicopter ride to a Gas Drilling Platform! But god knows why I can’t remember its name. ( Probably, the trauma of walking around the platform and fighting my fear of heights and nothing around you but deep, deep blue sea) I was also helping my boss to prepare allowances of other students (their seniors) at that time, but because I was involved from the beginning and spent so much time with these 5 scholars, we became very close and more like friends than coordinator/scholars. Oh well, who wouldn’t like them all? They are like top students from their schools, well mannered, intelligent and well brought up. For that, I give credits to their parents (probably good teachers also lah). Although, I left the company not long after they were all in US, we still keep in touch and once in a while whenever I rang an old colleague, it make me proud too when I heard of their news and yes, superb results throughout their bachelor degree. Nowadays, all 5 are engineers (1 is a geologist though) in various departments with the company (of course they are, they were bonded for 5 yrs anyway!) and when we meet again (around the time they were to start working), it’s kinda cool to see that each has turn into a working adults and shouldering different kind of responsibilities. And 2 of them fall in love with each other, sweet kan? To Fir & Seri ( Have a nice life together), Iman, Zeed & Izrin (who introduced me to Harry Potter series!) I will always cherish our memories together! It’s been an honour to meet and befriends all of you.

Listen : Keep holding on - A. Lavigne

update : The platform's name is Jerneh.

update2 : The pictures from Fir & Seri' wedding take ages to upload! erghh..probably later I'll post em lah.

Off to the space, don't know when I'll return..

My mind is doing this crazy thing again. I feel so space out, like an outsider looking at my own freaky life. No, freaky is such a wrong word to describe it. I am definitely not a freak. Maybe I think too much. It is some kind of urge to feel and experience different things from my normal, mundane and routine life. It’s so gripping and at times I am not even sure what are my motives and the reasons why I did some stupid things. What am I trying to prove? To whom? Does it matter? No. I had long time ago stop doing things to prove myself to other people; it’s useless and only wasting my energy and effort. It is my own happiness that I’m concern with, so that should clearly be my ulterior aim, but why oh why, I keep on making a mess? Ruining and letting down people who matter most to me? I wish I don’t have to feel like this. I wish to be happy, truly happy and don’t give a shit about other people. But knowing myself, I can’t. The idea of doing things without thinking of the consequences is too much to contemplate with. I am not that selfish anyway. But when it strikes once in a while, god! It feels good. The exhilarating feeling and the La la song I sang never sound sweeter than this. To hell with the guilty feeling, I’ll always end up with it anyway. Like now, I mean.

Yep, I do think too much.


I wanna sleep and have no care for world around me..like him

Listen : I wanna love you - Akon

Of Finals and Quick week

I wonder who can stop the amazing Federer. Yes, he is in the final again. Only his opponent this time is Gonzales who has squashed Nadal in quarterfinal and beaten Haas in semi yesterday. Hmm looking good, (his game I mean!) probably he’ll be among few players who can beat Federer? We’ll see this Sunday lah. And in ladies event we will see Sharapova will go against S.Williams, Interesting, both are having such loud grunts! It’ll be fun.

I feel like the past 5 days past me by ..just like that! Nothing much had happened at office anyway, except on Thursday there was a launching event of Gallery or sumthing. Office area was swarmed with invited guests and VIP. I joined few colleagues checking out the guests from our 4th floor office, looking down and scanning for the 2nd Finance Minister who came to replace DPM. Well, no such luck. We just continue with our stuff and by 5.45 pm when I came down to foyer, few meters away the chairman, MD and Company Secretary are bidding farewell to the 2nd Finance Minister himself, huh! Kinda sweet jugak orangnya. Hitam manis! Hehe

Weekend is here, and tomorrow I’ll probably just do my laundry and off to Seri/Fir wedding on Sunday. More on these 2 nice peoples and other 3 friends of them later.

Listen : Independence Day - Carrie Underwood

Of all the concern etc

It was never easy. The matter involving heart and emotional and especially when it was mine that we’re talking about. I don’t really think everybody are having same predicament like me, boy! It’s far from it. In fact, I think I am among few unlucky ones in the Love department. Friends been labeling me as being too choosy and fussy when it comes to criterias of my man, but it’s not as easy as choosing fish at the market, aight? So I rationale to myself that it’s perfectly allright to be choosy. I, for one, do not wish to be ended with somebody’s husband (big no!) and worst, regretted the relationship later on. I do admit however that getting into any relationship is like putting your heart as the pawn, and elements of gambling are so glaring, and if you stare for too long you might get blinded yourself! (whatever I’m rambling about?) well, you get my point, ditcha? I believe that the right man will come along. Sooner or later, when I can find every answers to my questions and when it feel perfectly allright to risk everything just to see it works, then I know I found my true love. Finger crossed! Hahaha..so thank you my friends & family for all of your concerns, advices and kind words. Really appreciated it, but as it is, just be happy for me whether I’m single or hitched, will ya? Now bugger off and leave me alone!

On a separate note, Australian Open is reaching quarterfinal stage now. And I’m rooting for Andy Roddick after his superb performance so far. His nice butt is the plus point too!

And finally, I would like to wish my lovely niece, Nur Azizah who will turn 8 tomorrow – A very Happy Birthday! This is my niece whom I told countless (folk, legends, modern, horror, true or fabricated) bedtime stories since she is a baby! And now, even though she is already in school, she is still nagging me to tell her story whenever we meet. Aiyoh! I’m already out of story like 5 years ago, and since then it was always a fabricated one. You know the kind where you started about a boy or girl who doesn’t listen to their parents and ended up in trouble kinda story. Hmm..sweet, sweet girl. But Jijah, please stop fighting with your cousin ok? She’s only 4 years old! And your poor aunty is getting a splitting headache every time you are shouting to each other, and darling, please leave the door as it is, no need to bang it again and again. We heard you all right. Erghh! Kids.

Listen : Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson

Cynical eh?

You Are 60% Cynical

Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist. You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.

How Cynical Are You?