Off to the space, don't know when I'll return..

My mind is doing this crazy thing again. I feel so space out, like an outsider looking at my own freaky life. No, freaky is such a wrong word to describe it. I am definitely not a freak. Maybe I think too much. It is some kind of urge to feel and experience different things from my normal, mundane and routine life. It’s so gripping and at times I am not even sure what are my motives and the reasons why I did some stupid things. What am I trying to prove? To whom? Does it matter? No. I had long time ago stop doing things to prove myself to other people; it’s useless and only wasting my energy and effort. It is my own happiness that I’m concern with, so that should clearly be my ulterior aim, but why oh why, I keep on making a mess? Ruining and letting down people who matter most to me? I wish I don’t have to feel like this. I wish to be happy, truly happy and don’t give a shit about other people. But knowing myself, I can’t. The idea of doing things without thinking of the consequences is too much to contemplate with. I am not that selfish anyway. But when it strikes once in a while, god! It feels good. The exhilarating feeling and the La la song I sang never sound sweeter than this. To hell with the guilty feeling, I’ll always end up with it anyway. Like now, I mean.

Yep, I do think too much.


I wanna sleep and have no care for world around me..like him

Listen : I wanna love you - Akon